BUILD AFRICA (EXCEL FOR
CHARITY) POETRY COMPETITION 2010
Judge's Report
This
has been a serious and important competition and I have
been struck by how seriously poets have taken their
work. Reading through the entries many times, I felt
that here were people with something to say – not just
wanting to win for the prize or the kudos but knowing it
mattered, that here was a chance to express and
contribute their vision – a word I wouldn’t use lightly
here.
Before
judging, I made myself a check list of all the things
I’d be looking for – vocabulary, images, sound patterns,
layout, authenticity etc etc. A long list fulfilled my
criteria. In the end, those that made it to a short list
or to the challenging list of commended poems and final
winners, were those that stayed in my mind. Why did some
stay? They were certainly original, adopting new and
amazing slants on their themes and of course they were
masters of poetic devices – but in the end it’s a matter
of voice – the guts, the roots of the thing.
Before
going on to the final 8, I need to say why some didn’t
quite make it although the standard was high. A humbling
experience because I recognise faults I make myself –
but it’s largely to do with endings – either they come
too soon, just as the poet gets started or they are
neatly wrapped up with clever last lines which sound
good but are meaningless, or – and this is what I kept
finding – the poet is anxious that the reader might not
get the point and so has to say it again ...
Hard
decisions. My lists kept changing. Daily. At least two
of my commended poems should have been winners, but,
sadly, there wasn’t space.
Dearest friend Viola had me
captured from the title itself – a poem about memories,
a list poem but musical and moving. It begins with a
garden with a ‘welcoming halo’ and ends with the poet
trying to capture ‘yesterday with my pinhole camera to
capture the halo in it’ A beautiful poem of yearning.
Raiding Time is
also about memories – collective, ancestral memories
tricked by imagination back into existence, impressions
‘at the edge of sight’ at the ‘road soundline’ This poet
has a most marvellous skill with words – ‘A crisp bag’s
silver bowels stiff that.’ ‘we stop, Thames-ice our
feet,/drift water round a swan.’ You need to read the
whole poem. I wish I could have included it with the
winners.
Goslings is a
seemingly simple poem, beginning with baby blackbirds
falling out of a tree. This image is gradually
paralleled with the narrator’s three children ‘walked
away from after the divorce ... One who dusted off his
wings and flew away/Another still standing flapping,
falling/ ... and the third, all his life a gosling’ I
felt the poem could have ended there, with that image of
the pitiful gosling, rather than returning to a comment
about the neighbour, but the impact is certainly there –
a moving poem with well crafted line endings and layout.
Blizzard was on
my short list from the start with its brilliant first
stanza ‘Ice wants the world all white./It remembers
Mammoths/their heavy tread making the earth creak./ They
were peaceful creatures.’
Sexed on a Kona Balcony also
packs a punch with its opening lines: ‘All his lovers
have fed the birds he says/This is after I’ve sprinkled
the balcony/with pieces of pancake.’ There are great
images all through this poem and layers of meaning.
The
winning poems: Third is Let Him Without Sin’ – a
poem about a stoning, a young girl who has been raped is
stoned to death for being unclean. I am full of
admiration for this poem and never doubted that it
should be in the winning list, but I still find it
incredibly painful to read – and I can’t imagine how
hard it must have been to write. These are the lines I
find most powerful and affecting: ‘they hood her,/like a
hawk./Grunts, as they thrust her/upright in the
hole,/fills it with swish across metal,/stamp of sandals
round her neck.’ The poet controls the emotional impact
perfectly – at the end there is only ‘Silence./Bleating
of goats/on the wind.’
My
second choice is ‘Because the Earth Opened' (For
Haiti) This was nearly my winner. I think it is
wonderful. Simple, lyrical, atmospheric, original,
poignant – I could go on with praises but this is a poem
you must read in its entirety to appreciate its beauty
and skill. I find it perfect.
The
only reason it wasn’t my first choice in the end, is
because ‘A’ freak yer!’ like the woman in the
poem, sifted ‘hairs on the back/of my neck’ A poem of
loss – ‘we’re all lost’ says the poet – a poem about
confronting memories, situations, realities where,
ultimately, there is ‘no choice’ This poem deserves
many, many readings. It is marvellous.
Mandy Pannett
lives in West Sussex where she is a creative
writing tutor. She also supports several local
writing groups and runs an Arts Cafe. Her first
poetry collection 'Boy's Story'
was issued, with original music, as a CD. Two
further collections have been published by
Oversteps Books - 'Bee Purple' and
'Frost Hollow'. Her work has been
widely published in small press magazines and
online. She is currently working on a new
collection.
She has also won
prizes in several UK writing competitions.
